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What I Said V's What I Should'a Said |
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Sunday, 05 October 2008 |
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Violent Religion
I was in my Rhetoric of War and Peace class, when the topic of religion came up. More specifically: “Is Islam an inherently violent religion?” My contention is that religions are not inherently good or bad but that people have good or bad interpretations of them. I should tell you I have a good friend who is a Muslim that sits next to me in class. Suddenly some good ‘ole boy from Alabama said: “Gosh darn, over there them Muslims kill Christians! We don’t kill Muslims over here. We civilized.” It wasn’t so much what he was saying as what he was implying along with his stupid grin.
What I said
So you think that Muslims are violent? You don’t think that’s a broad generalization or a stereotype? (It was the beginning of the semester and a little early for me to be making enemies, in my opinion.)
What I should have said
Well golly gee, I guess you’re right. In Alabama we only lynch gays and blacks; we leave ‘em Muslims alone!
Stupid Question
I was working a closing shift one night at a video store. As I was strolling down an aisle replacing a stack of movies a customer walks up to me and asks: “Do you work here?”
What I said
uh, yeah…?
What I should have said
No... its just a fetish of mine to wear this ridiculous blue blockbuster costume... I'm here Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays if you wanna come by and 'chill'.
White Liar
My girlfriend was trying on some clothes in a store at our local mall. I was sitting on a couch by the dressing rooms waiting to be asked my opinion about her appearance. Out she came–she looked great–except I thought the outfit looked a bit small on her. Being the idiot that I am, I decided to follow my instructions to voice my opinion, opening Pandora’s Box of God-forsaken insecurities that she'd bottled up for too long. This subsequently caused the unfortunate delay of a prompt departure from the store.
What I said
I think it looks a bit small…
What I should have said
IT LOOKS GREAT!!! In fact, from now on you look great in every outfit. I’m feeling a little queasy. Mind if we speed it up a bit, honnie bun?
Elevator to 2
There’s nothing worse than someone who, regardless of health, wealth etc. chooses to get on an elevator to go up one freaking floor. I guess they never learned to take the stairs that are right next to the elevator. But wait! On the next floor, three more people get on that are going up one more level. So it feels like an hour until i reach my floor when I could have just walked up the eight flights. I want to smack these people as hard as possible.
What I said
Nothing. I usually bite my tongue and intentionally pass gas.
What I should have said
Are the stairs out of order, you lazy fu*k?
\J. Linares\FIU Student\
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