Freddy Rodriguez, Rose McGowan, Josh Brolin, Marley Shelton, Naveen Andrews, Kurt Russell, Bruce Willis, Fergie, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Rosario Dawson, Tracie Thomas, Zoe Bell, Vanessa Ferlito (and killer-cameos by many others)

This was a hoot. More than a hoot. It was a wide-open-pipes Rebel Yell. Sitting atop the groovy stadium seating in the brand-spankin'-new theatres at our neighborhood mall, I still had the sensation of being at the old Arnold Drive-in "back in the day." Instead of a lawn chair in the bed of some redneck's truck, I was cushioned in comfort--however, my toes were enjoying a mighty familiar curl. Oh yeah buddy. There is nothing like the way your mouth drops open from the shock-value of a garish freak show like this one--a double-whammy-slammy of thrilling, low-brow entertainment.

Don't lie. You know you love it. Somebody say "AMEN."
This movie has been a long time in the coming. No, you're not going to be elevated to some spiritual epiphany or plateau of holy enlightenment. You shall not garner a new sensitivity or come away from it a better person. No, no, no! To the contrary, you will be cheaply thrilled by the vulgar and the base. You will be sucker-punched by raw sensation. Disheveled by speed. You will be somewhat embarrassed, but "highly" entertained. It's guaranteed. That's the idea. This movie is just crazy-eyed, full-throttle, adrenaline-junkie fun. It is not for the pretentious stuffed-shirt, the front-row Pharisee or the "holier-than-thou" folks worried about what the world thinks of them. This movie is for dare-devil thrill-seekers. You know who you are.

I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. The cast was dynamite. Even the pseudo-coming attraction trailers at intermission were hits in their own right. Yeah they'll make you gag in some places, but they were still great. Let's put it this way, we sat in the theatre for a good three hours and the time flew like a souped-up Chevelle. Go daddy, go! Throw me back in that vinyl seat. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Kurt Russell looked like he had fun making this movie and I know that the directors did. Naveen Andrews savored every minute of it. And Sydney Poitier's daughter was the sh*t. You hear me? The sh*t! Like a mulatto version of Heidi Pearson. All I have to say to Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez is "more, more, more !" I want more!

WAR CANOE GRADE: A++

By: S.H. Pearson